22/07/2006
I was talking to a lady the other day who had lost her husband. We were talking about how difficult it is to deal with our grief when she asked me, "do you talk about Bailey much"? My answer was immediate but as soon as I said it, it startled me. You see my answer was the truth but I hadn't really said it out loud before, thus 'making it real'.
I looked at her and I said "No I don't, because people don't want to talk about him".
I had a beautiful baby boy and my heart is filled with so much pride for him and yet I can't really share it with people.
I would give anything for someone to come to me and say " Tell me about Bailey, did he have hair, who did he look like?" But they never do. You see people are so busy trying not to hurt me that they inevitably do just that. They think by not 'talking about it' that it's better for you, but it's not. I will cry when I talk about Bailey but I cry anyway, every single day.
Please take the time to read 'The bereaved parents wish list' on page 4 of the journal and please if you meet me don't be afraid to talk about Bailey. It really is my favourite subject and if you'd have known him you would fully understand. Bailey has gone to be an angel now but he is still a huge part of my life. That will never change. Nor would I want it to.
