15/04/2006
When God calls little children To dwell with Him above, We mortals sometimes question The wisdom of his love, For no heartache compares with, The death of one small child, Who does so much to make our world, Seem so wonderful and mild. Perhaps God tires of calling The aged to His fold, So He picks a rosebud Before it can grow old. God knows how much we need them, And so he takes but few, To make the land of heaven More beautiful to view. Believing this is difficult Still somehow we must try, The saddest word mankind knows will always be Good~bye. So when a little child departs, We who are left behind Must realize God loves children, Angels are hard to find...
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15/04/2006
This was a life That had hardly begun No time to find Your place in the sun No time to do All you could have done But we loved you enough for a lifetime No time to enjoy The world and its wealth No time to take life Down off the shelf No time to sing The song of yourself Though you had enough love for a lifetime Those who live long Endure sadness and tears But you'll never suffer The sorrowing years No betrayal, no anger No hatred, no fears, Just love - only love - in your lifetime.
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11/04/2006
What makes a Mother I thought of you and closed my eyes And prayed to God today. I asked what makes a Mother And I know I heard him say. A Mother has a baby This we know is true.' But God, can you be a Mother When your baby's not with you? Yes, you can, He replied With confidence in His voice I give many women babies When they leave is not their choice. Some I send for a lifetime And others for a day. And some I send to feel your womb But there's no need to stay. I just don't understand this, God I want my baby here He took a breath and cleared His throat And then I saw a tear. I wish I could show you What your child is doing today. If you could see your child smile With other children and say: "We go to earth to learn our lessons Of love and life and fear. My Mummy loved me oh so much I got to come straight here. I feel so lucky to have a Mum Who had, so much love for me I learned my lesson very quickly My Mummy set me free. I miss my Mummy oh so much But I visit her each day. When she goes to sleep On her pillow's where I lay. I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek And whisper in her ear. "Mummy don't be sad today I'm your baby and I'm here." So you see my dear sweet one Your children are ok Your babies are here in My home And this is where they'll stay. They'll wait for you, with Me Until your lessons are all through. And on the day that you come home They'll be at the gates for you. So now you see what makes a Mother It's the feeling in your heart. It's the love you had so much of, Right from the very start. Though some on earth may not realize You are a Mother until their time is done. They'll be up here with Me one day And you know you're the best one! When tomorrow starts without me And I 'm not here to see, If the sun should rise and find your eyes All filled with tears for me. I wish so much you wouldn't cry The way you did today, While thinking of the many things We didn't get to say. I know how much you love me, As much as I love you, And each time you think of me I know you'll miss me too. But when tomorrow starts without me, Please try to understand, That an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand.
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08/04/2006
The Elephant In The Room By Terry Kettering There's an elephant in the room It is large and squatting, so it is hard to get around it Yet we squeeze by it with "How are you"? and "I'm fine," And a thousand other forms of trivial chatter. We talk about the weather We talk about work We talk about everything else, except the elephant in the room. There's an elephant in the room We all know it's there We are thinking about the elephant as we talk together. It is constantly on our minds. For, you see, it is a very large elephant. It has hurt us all. But we don't talk about the elephant in the room. Oh please say his name Oh please say his name again Oh, please let's talk about the elephant in the room. For if we talk about his death, perhaps we can talk about his life Can I say his name to you and not have you look away? For if I cannot, then you are leaving me.... Alone... In a room... With an elephant.
Another one of those WOW! poems.
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07/04/2006
Does Anyone Know?
Does anyone know what today should be?
Anyone else, or is it only me?
Does anyone know how great today would have been
If you would have come now instead of then?
It seems people forget: to them it's just another day
But for me I just can't think of it that way
My heart aches and I can't stop the tears
I keep on wishing that you were still here
Others just don't understand why today I mourn
Today is a special day, the day you should have been born
Written By Heather Will
Given to us by good friends
Annette And Samantha
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07/04/2006
Today, Friday 7 April 2006 is the date Michelle and I were given as our baby's due date. Today is the day that Bailey should have been born and made his entry into the world. It didn't happen that way and Bailey was born back on New Year's Eve. To mark the day we took a helium filled balloon up to his grave and released it into the air. Attached to the balloon, protected from the weather, was a photograph of the little man and an explanatory note of who Bailey was and why the balloon had been let loose.
It was pretty windy at the cemetery, which is fairly exposed and sits above the coastline, and the sky was heavy with cloud. At first the balloon looked like it might snag on the boundary hedge or even on one of the houses in the estate which surrounds the cemetery, but after a little dip the wind caught the balloon and it soared. Within seconds the balloon had cleared the cemetery and very quickly after that it would have passed over the coastline and out over the Irish Sea towards Scotland. Michelle, Courtney and I stood and watched as the balloon went on it's way and rapidly grew smaller and smaller in our vision. Eventually it passed out of our sight and was lost to us. Today is a day which for us is filled with all the usual questions of 'what if?' and 'why?', but it has also been a day when we could do something to feel close to our boy again. It's been a reminder, if any was needed, just how raw we are after the death of our son. We had thought that by now we would have been buying nappies and sterilising bottles rather than putting flowers on our son's grave which has already lost the bloom of newness that it once had. One day we might see a note from the person who finds Bailey's balloon in the guestbook on this site. We will have to wait and see.
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05/04/2006
Hold Me Close And Go Away
Hold me close and go away
Please visit me and please don't stay
Talk to me but please don't speak
I need you NOW, come back next week
Emotions muddled,needs unknown
To be with others or on my own?
To scream out loud? To rant and shout?
Or hide away and push you out?
I smile at you- "she's not that bad"
I shout at you-"she's going mad"
I speak to you- "what do I say?"
I show my tears- "quick walk away"
It's not catching, the grief I feel
I can't pretend that it's not real
I carry on as best I know
But this pain inside just wont go
So true friends,please, accept the lot
I shout, I cry, I lose the plot
I don't know what I need today
So hold me close and go away.
I found this poem on another web site and was stunned at how true to life the words are.
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05/04/2006
Since Bailey died I have worried about Nigel, Bailey's daddy. Nigel has been a real rock for me, and I couldn't have done without him. But Nigel is so busy being strong for me that he doesn't take time for himself. I found this poem and thought it fitted very well.
It must be very difficult, to be a man in grief
Since "men don't cry" and " men are strong"
No tears can bring relief
It must be very difficult to stand up to the test
And field the calls and visitors
So she can get some rest
They always ask if she's all right
And what she's going through
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, but how are you?"
He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break
He dries her tears and comforts her
But "stays strong" for her sake
It must be very difficult
To start each day anew
And try to be so very brave--
He lost his baby too.
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