Bailey Andrew Louis Marshall

JOURNAL

01/05/2006

Mummy please don't be sad,

I miss you so much too.

It's beautiful here,

but I worry a lot about you.

I sleep with angels watching me...

there is only love up here.

I am never lonely or afraid

because God is so very near.

I walk with Jesus every day,

He is very kind and loving.

Don't worry Mum,

He holds my hand

when we cross a golden street.

I never cry or hurt myself,

I see Grandpa every day.

I play and laugh and sing a lot

and I hear you when you pray.

Please Mummy, don't be mad at God,

you see He loves me too.

And even though you are not with me,

I am really still with you.



    Comments (0)



23/04/2006

Heavenly Garden
God wanders around His garden
And looks at all His flowers
He looks after every one of them
Some of which are ours.
He feeds them and He nurtures them
Every single bloom
Then sometimes in a corner
He finds a little room.
That wont do He tells himself
I'll put something there instead
Then gets down on His hands and knees
And makes a little bed.
Then He takes a look below
And examines every face
And when He thinks a flower looks tired
He takes it for that well earned place.


    Comments (0)



16/04/2006

Dear Easter Bunny,

I just had to write today

To see if you'll stop in heaven

As you hop along your way?

You see, a part of me is up there

That I miss with all my heart

You see, my child is up in heaven

and it's torn my life apart

When you take the egg up there

Please whisper in his ear

Wish him Happy Easter

As I wipe away my tear.

Author Unknown



    Comments (0)



15/04/2006

Before You Went Away

We only got to you hold you

Just before you went away

God took you to his angels

Where we shall meet again one day

 

We never heard your laughter

Or wiped a teardrop from your eye

We had no time time to get to know you

Before we said goodbye

 

Now everytime we see a raindrop

Or a bright and shining star

We can look toward the heavens

For we know that's where you are

 

While all the other angels

Play with their new best friend

We that are left keep crying

Waiting for our pain to end

 

Those left behind will love you

Until each our dying day

For we only got to hold you

Just before you went away



    Comments (0)



15/04/2006

When God calls little children

To dwell with Him above,

We mortals sometimes question

The wisdom of his love,

 

For no heartache compares with,

The death of one small child,

Who does so much to make our world,

Seem so wonderful and mild.

 

Perhaps God tires of calling

The aged to His fold,

So He picks a rosebud

Before it can grow old.

 

God knows how much we need them,

And so he takes but few,

To make the land of heaven

More beautiful to view.

 

Believing this is difficult

Still somehow we must try,

The saddest word mankind knows

will always be Good~bye.

 

So when a little child departs,

We who are left behind

Must realize God loves children,

Angels are hard to find...



    Comments (0)



15/04/2006

This was a life
That had hardly begun
No time to find
Your place in the sun
No time to do
All you could have done
But we loved you enough for a lifetime
No time to enjoy
The world and its wealth
No time to take life
Down off the shelf
No time to sing
The song of yourself
Though you had enough love for a lifetime
Those who live long
Endure sadness and tears
But you'll never suffer
The sorrowing years
No betrayal, no anger
No hatred, no fears,
Just love - only love - in your lifetime.


    Comments (0)



11/04/2006

What makes a Mother
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
And I know I heard him say.
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true.'
But God, can you be a Mother When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can, He replied
With confidence in His voice
I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this, God
I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say:
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear.
My Mummy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mum
Who had, so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly
My Mummy set me free.
I miss my Mummy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear.
"Mummy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are ok
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you, with Me
Until your lessons are all through.
And on the day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of,
Right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realize
You are a Mother until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day
And you know you're the best one!
When tomorrow starts without me
And I 'm not here to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time you think of me
I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name
and took me by the hand.


    Comments (0)



10/04/2006

BEREAVED PARENTS WISH LIST

I wish Bailey hadn't died. I wish I had him back.

I wish you wouldn't be afraid to speak my child's name. Bailey lived and was very important to me. I need to hear that he was important to you also.

If I cry and get emotional when you talk about Bailey, I wish you knew that it isn't because you have hurt me. Bailey's death is the cause of my tears. You have talked about my child and you have allowed me to share my grief. I thank you for both.

Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't shy away from me. I need you now more than ever.

I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you, but I also want you to hear about me. I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you would let me talk about Bailey; my favorite topic of the day.

I know that you think of and pray for me often. I also know that my Bailey's death pains you too. I wish you would let me know these things through a phone call, a card or note, or a real big hug.

I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over. These first years are traumatic for me, but I wish you could understand that my grief will never be over. I will suffer the death of Bailey until the day I die.

I am working hard in my recovery, but I wish you could understand that I will never fully recover. I will always miss Bailey and I will always grieve that he is dead.

I wish you wouldn't expect me "not to think about it" or "be happy". Neither will happen for a very long time, so don't frustrate yourself. I don't want to have a "Pity party", but I do wish you would let me grieve. I must hurt before I can heal.

I wish you understood how my life has shattered. I know it is miserable for you to be around me when I'm feeling miserable. Please be as patient with me as I am with you.

When I say, "I'm doing okay", I wish you could understand that I don't "feel" okay and that I struggle daily.

I wish you knew that all of the grief reactions I'm having are very normal. Depression, anger, hopelessness and overwhelming sadness are all to be expected. So please excuse me when I'm quiet and withdrawn or irritable and cranky.

Your advice to "take it one day at a time" is excellent advice. However, a day is too much and too fast for me right now. I wish you could understand that I'm doing good to handle an hour at a time.

Please excuse me if I seem rude, certainly not my intent. Sometimes the world around me goes too fast and I need to get off. When I walk away, I wish you would let me find a quiet place to spend time alone. I wish you understood that grief changes people. When Bailey died, a big part of me died with him. I am not the same person I was before Bailey died and I will never be that person again.

I wish very much that you could understand ~ understand my loss and my grief. But, I pray daily that you will never understand.



    Comments (0)



1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14       
Last Updated: 29/06/2008
Sign up for Updates!