Ask most mothers what they want gender-wise from their pregnancy and they will return a standard response along the lines of, “We don’t care so long as the baby is healthy.” Of course, down deep inside many of the moms have a preference one way or another, but are afraid to voice that hope for a few reasons.
- If you say you’re desperate for a daughter but then have a son, you’ll have a bit of mud on your face should that now beloved son ever hear of your pleas and prayers for a daughter before you knew of his divine presence. Of course, it’s anyone’s guess as to how your son might find out that sort of thing years from now, so this is more about your choice to protect the future feelings of your unborn child than anything else, which is right in line with typical maternal thinking.
- You are afraid of jinxing things. You hate to even utter the word “boy” in fear that his gender might suddenly change in utero because you go too sure of yourself. If you’re secretly thinking blue, you might keep it to yourself until everyone has seen a good look at the rear view in the sonogram just in case the fates conspire against you.
- You don’t want to hear about it from everyone else. It’s more than a proven fact that everyone and their mothers feel entitled to offer advice to a pregnant woman on topics ranging from breastfeeding to her bowel movements. Heaven forbid you start a topic as sensitive as gender preferences with someone ready and willing to tell you off for not thinking the same way she does on the topic.
Of course, hoping for one gender isn’t a bad thing. It’s a perf
ectly natural thing in most cases. However, it can become a bit unhealthy if you’re not staying open-minded about the possibility of having a baby of the opposite gender. Every pregnancy has a 50-50 shot at boy or girl and short of selecting fertilized embryos, you’ll never know which one you’re getting until the second trimester. It’s a mystery every time and obsessing about pink tights and hair ribbons or blue sailor suits and baseball caps is fun. But when you find out you were thinking blue and baby was thinking pink, celebrate your child as she is – exchange one fantasy for another.
It’s natural for many moms to feel a bit of sadness that they won’t be getting to play with dolls and hair bows the way they were hoping, but dwelling on that is bad for everyone. There are wonderful things about each gender and rather than listing things you might not be able to enjoy just yet, start thinking of the huge number of things that will be wonderful about that precious baby you’re actually going to have.
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