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"Have You Dropped Yet?" and Other Strange Pregnancy Questions

It never ceases to amaze me how much people ask when you're pregnant. Somehow your pregnancy is fair game for everyone – even if you've never met the person in your life. Among my personal favorite intrusive questions:

"My goodness look at that belly! Have you dropped yet?"
Now those of us who have been around the pregnancy circus for a while know all about dropping. Unfortunately a friend of mine pregnant with her first did not and was panicked for more than a day before she figured out what it meant to "drop" and that it wasn't a dire situation. Dropping is when the baby makes it into the pelvis making your tummy visibly lower on your midsection and making it harder to walk. This is when you start to waddle. Since the tummy gets bigger before it drops, it can look noticeably different from day to day.

"You're huge! Are you sure there's just one baby in there?"
Okay, I'll admit this one isn't really that bothersome to me. I thought it was hilarious and made a game of how many people would ask me if I was having twins during my second pregnancy. I was batting 1000 the entire last month of pregnancy with at least one twin question per day for more than thirty days. Of course my second son came out at more than 12 pounds so the questions were justified and I knew it.

If I was worried about my weight during pregnancy or the stretch marks cheerfully taking up permanent residence over the very stretched skin, I might have been enraged, so I can see where some moms hate this sort of question. The best thing I can tell you here is that the vast majority of people asking are excited for you. Everyone loves twins, big healthy babies and pregnant women. So it is likely they are complimenting you what looks like an obviously healthy, large baby in there. If you just can't bear to answer the question any more, laugh it off or smile blandly. No sense being rude for the well-intentioned.

"How much weight have you gained?"
This one tends to be between women, but men are out there, too, who want to know things that aren't their business. The healthy amounts of weight to gain are published everywhere in pregnancy materials, and if you happen to gain less than 25 or more than 35 pounds during your pregnancy, the whole world seems to be concerned – personal circumstances be damned. Add to this the general perception of how it should be according to each individual. This is usually based on a woman's own pregnancy or the pregnancy of a love one. Even if you've gained an extra 20 pounds of water weight like I did, everyone is very concerned about you and the baby since you really should only gain fifteen pounds like she did if you want to lose the weight again. Blah.

Personally I think these busy-bodies are secretly gleeful that you won't be popping right back into size 6 jeans outside of the delivery room since they didn't either. The only person who should be concerned about your weight is your doctor. And if he's not concerned, you don't need to be concerned. Eat enough to keep everyone healthy and make good choices while you're eating. If anyone dares to ask you how much you weigh now or how much weight you've put on, you have my full permission to lie shamelessly so long as you and your doctor know everything is as it should be.

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